The Waves continue, but this little sailboat ain't givin' up!

Well this will probably be one of my last few posts, if I don't post with joy/absolute sadness when Ty leaves whenever this time. Hopefully when he does I will be out of town (spending the first part of my summer on the other side of the country with family and hopefully trying to find someone else to love tee hee)and I hope he doesn't even tell me when he's leaving. I hope I never see his no good eyes staring at me ever again if I go down near his town (which i do quite often) and I hope I never have to hear from him again. I know it sounds coldhearted and all and I will say I still love him more than anything and I've tried and tried to forget about him and all those times, oh my god when I think of them they seem to make themselves so big, so important, so wonderful. But I wish I could forget those and I have to face reality and know I can't.

And my heart is stupid. My heart doesn't realize he chiseled all the way through a long time ago, that he is not the same Ty. My heart is stupid because it doesn't realize that the guy with the million girlfriends and who suddenly became Mr. Popular, who doesn't reply to my "hi"s or smiles, who is so self-centered and low, the one who peers at me with eyes that are cold and lifeless, is not the same Ty I knew. And never will be. My heart is stubborn. So damn stubborn, that is a new quality I don't like about myself, I'm just so stubborn I can't let something go and I keep striving to get it even though-sadly to say- it is impossible. At least my head has cleared that up and now it's just love vs. logic. Logic tells me its not worth it and I know that, my heart is just so stubborn and thick!

Please leave sooner than I notice so I don't have to hear your laugh, your girlfriends chatting on about your greatness, and to see those dark eyes of yours. So I still have 71 days of seeing you until you are out of my life. ADIOS! And till then I will keep you all updated on how many days this storm will rage on, hoping that it'll pass by quicker than it is.
Hikari

P.S. Randomly I am actually listening to a song that the chorus is
"...I wanna get over you
But you're everywhere
And I just can't get away
I gotta get over you
Cause it's just not fair
That I still see your face

I heard your name today
I walked away
Cause everyone's still talking
I dont need that in my life
Got better things to do
Than worry about you
Im gonna keep on walking
But sometimes I don't know why

Well we had a good time
But time goes on..."

P.S.S. Will miss all of you!!! (but that doesn't mean we still can't talk ;P, check ICQ)