Trying to finish a boring summer with at least a moderatly happy note

Well summer has already drawn to and end here and school starts on Tuesday, sadly. Even though last summer was a month shorter i think it felt so much longer because of all the traveling and especially hanging out with Ty a lot. But this summer i only saw him twice, and i traveled no where and now it rushed by and its been longer than last. I find this quite depressing.

Another thing i find depressing is Ty says he is moving after this year, and at first i thought it was because he complained about our school being to "jock-y/ sporty" but now he states he is moving. period. im really trying to see the true reason and i know i shouldn't interfere but i doubt i'd be able to see him especially after this crappy of a summer. I have been able to talk with him a lot but i guess i've been to afraid to face him in person, which is too much of a coward act. I really need to buck up a bit because Ty isn't gonna like closed-up, lazy, nervous, me! NO SIREE BOB- SU!

I'm going to make the most of this school year and try to hang out with him for the rest of the 'real' summer and try to get him to like me again. The other night i yelled at him (he didn't mind, something had really frustrated me that day so i was in the mood to yell) and of course i mentioned something about him liking me which was a pretty bold move and im proud i was able to get it out that easily *pats self on back*. first he was kinda shocked and just simply answered no an moved on to a different topic, i think he might have been trying to cover something up since he started to joke around. That or im just really dense.

But today we're going to the pool together with him, hun, another friend, and me to celebrate the last few days. Both hun and ty seemed especially wanting me to go so i finally slipped it in (with the olympics im really focused and 'busy') so he seems kinda excited. for once im not too nervous because hun's gonna be there and hun always keeps me calm and collected, i guess he just keeps everythign together in his own way (he doesn't even talk much he just is kind of a reliever). And if i ever mentioned that one friend i was worried about being clingy and not being able to spend time with Ty, i mentioned her to him and he actually thinks she's awesome so everything works out, right???

WRONG! Craz is on or team. I dont know what classes i have with her and i dont know how she's going to behave because i have blocked her on almost everything but im not exactly wanting to find out. a few weeks ago she sent me a couple texts (the one thing i cant block her on) talking about how much she missed me and how [i]I[/i] was the one that changed and asked if i would talk to her again. Now if i replied i would have probably yelled at her that she's a nutcase or something (which she is) but i just deleted the message and didn't reply. Although i talked to ty and she doesn't seem to have talked with him much and neither her 'boyfriend' (Ty's best friend) since school let out and i think the reason she only texted me was because he possibly would have broken up with her. I'll ask her 'possible ex' tomoro since i think he's coming with us. but i really hope she doesn't try to buddy up when i get to school or im gonna kill her.

Dates Ty has been on since the first: 0
Times i will have seen Ty this summer: 3
Times i saw him last summer (est.): 16
on a scale from one to ten how dissapointed in myself am i?: 9.5
BUT I MUST STAY POSITIVE AND STRONG IF I SHALL GET THROUGH THIS!!!

Standing strong as the sun rises on the road to love,
Hikari